I just finished this book. I was home, still feeling a bit sick today, but better than the day before, and I read about half of it today, taking breaks between chapters to fully absorb what I was reading. I can still feel the stiffness of dried tears on my face.
As soon as I began reading this book earlier in the week, I realized that I was going to be taking a different approach than I normally do when I read. Rather than consuming this, I was going to need to take it slower- there was so much to contemplate. I am not sure that I have read anything that was crafted in such a way that every single sentence mattered so much. Most books I've read have their message delivered in paragraphs or in a page, perhaps even in a chapter, but not Siddhartha. I found myself reading slowly, pausing often, to consider what was being said. I do not believe a word is out of place in the entire book. The language is not overly complicated at all, but it is perfect for communicating the complexity of the ideas in the clearest way.
I am sitting here, trying to think of how I even begin to say what I should about this book. In all honesty, I am not sure that I can. There was too much that I thought about, too much that made me question, too much that moved me. I felt I understood Siddhartha, his inner struggle, his desire to know, his trust in his own path (oh, I can relate so personally to this, as I never follow the path prescribed to me, but instead listen to what I think is best), the respect and acknowledgment of the need for each individual to find his or her own path to the destiny that awaits him or her (towards the end)... It connected with me in a way I have maybe never felt before. The cyclical search from (and of) birth to death and the understanding of the oneness of everything, the necessity of pain and pleasure to coexist, the understanding of the mirrors of his path to his son's, and the peace that the connectedness of it all delivers to Siddhartha literally had me weeping. When he, with his ferryman sitting beside him, finally understands and the "blossoming of his pain" occurs (which sounds like a terrible thing but is truly the greatest wisdom) and he reaches peace, the peace he has sought throughout his life, it just completely overtook me. I can't explain it fully and if you've read it, I'm guessing I don't have to. Oh this blurb is so inadequate really, but if I discussed even half of what I thought and felt while reading Siddhartha, I'd be typing for hours!
If you haven't read it, I hope you'll consider it. This is a masterpiece. I will never forget it and I most certainly will need to read more from Hermann Hesse. I am so very glad to have read it.
Maybe I should have waited a bit before writing this (finished, came down stairs and didn't allow much processing time)- not sure how coherent it is! I understand what I am saying, but will anyone else? Hardly matters, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteAnd I also realized that I have mentioned crying in my last 2 reviews. I don't cry all that often, but I never have any shame when I do. It means I am deeply moved and I don't think there is a damn thing wrong with that. Tears do not mean weakness. :)
Wow......sounds like a wonderful book. I will have to put that one on my list of books to read. Thanks for the great review!
ReplyDeleteA great friend of mine (didn't know she read this actually) sent me an e-mail today and I told her I would respond here because if she was moved enough to write, there could be others thinking the same thing and I think the topic has merit to discuss in an open forum. So with that, I am going to address her concern that, as a Christian, she is concerned that I would be so responsive to something with such strong Eastern religious views...
ReplyDeleteFirst, my sweet friend, I love you dearly and appreciate your concern for me, as I know that your message to me today was sent with love and genuine concern, but I assure you that, just because I had an emotional experience with a piece of literature with Eastern ideas, I am not going to start worshipping Buddah. :) Personally, I do not believe that God requires us to NOT think, ponder and consider other views to be a Christ follower. Instead, I like to believe that God, as creator of all, knows that there is truth and beauty in each of his creations. If I am moved, it is because there was something in it for me. Also, I truly that because a path is different than mine it does not make it my place to condemn it. In fact, listening to other views and considering them, without adopting any view placed before me as my own, shows a strength of belief. I can listen and hear, holding to my personal beliefs, but considering those in contrast and comparison. My exposure to it and my discovery of truth in it does not mean I am accepting the teachings as "the way."
Now this, you will likely not agree with, and I am totally comfortable with that- I do realize that Christian beliefs profess that belief and dedication to Jesus and a commitment to accept Him into one's heart is the ONLY path. I have accepted that as mine and celebrate as others choose it for their lives, but, in my truest of hearts, I refuse to condemn others' selection for their own personal salvation. I call upon the firmest of beliefs that I embrace in the teachings of Jesus that it IS NOT my place to judge and so, I don't. I will not decide for another of God's beings that they are wrong and I am right and this, in fact, is one of the core themes in Siddhartha- this understanding that nobody can be taught the true path, but instead, each must discover their own path to peace. Jesus is my peace and He will remain, though I do need to cultivate that peace regularly.
I learned TOO well from the adoption process how completely out of control I truly was in it. I could not do ANYTHING to make the process go the way it "should." It was out of my hands completely and when I finally gave it to God, I tasted that peace, felt it wrap around me, and have never been so grateful. After spending my first 15 years completely out of control, with no ability to protect myself from my environment, I craved control of my own destiny and I succeeded (at least in my own mind) through much of the next 10 years. It was not until the adoption process that I had that illusion of control ripped from me so completely that I needed God in a way I could see. He is mine and I am His. This lesson has not been forgotten.
I will not expect myself to be a lemming of belief, however, and I will continue to challenge myself with other ideas and writings that may not mesh with my Christian beliefs. Listening does not mean accepting. You have known me long and well enough to know that I must have challenges. Do not worry my friend, I saw MY God in Siddhartha. I did. He was there. Love to you and thank you for knowing that your concern would be received in love because I know your heart and where it came from!
Amy